tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89946862164998559702024-03-07T16:23:42.254+11:00opening timeAll the excitement of a Christmas news letter, every day of the year.robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.comBlogger732125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-49951029415991917672015-07-18T06:33:00.004+11:002020-12-14T17:33:07.049+11:00More from our correspondent<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">The snips know that they haven't a snowball's chance in hell of</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">winning a future Scottish referendum on leaving the UK, due to the</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">fact that too many Scots are currently aware of the economic</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">consequences. So the new SNP tactics involve:</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">a: Ruining the education system so that the next generation of Jocks</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">can't count </span><a href="http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/49eec956-0304-11e5-b31d-00144feabdc0.html" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #2a82db; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0" x-apple-data-detectors-type="link" x-apple-data-detectors="true">www.ft.com/cms/s/0/49eec956-0304-11e5-b31d-00144feabdc0.html</a><br />
<br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">b: Be so nasty to the Englanders that they come to hate the Jocks as</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">much as the Jocks hate the Englanders</span><br />
<a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3165076/SNP-rips-rule-book-vows-start-interfering-English-affairs-time.html" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #2a82db; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;" x-apple-data-detectors-result="1" x-apple-data-detectors-type="link" x-apple-data-detectors="true">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3165076/SNP-rips-rule-book-vows-start-interfering-English-affairs-time.html</a><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">with the expectation that the Englanders then tell the Jocks to bugger</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">off because they are not willing to continue to sub them billions if</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">they're going to be so nasty.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">Plan B is having some success, as the Jocks interfere with the</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">Englanders historic love of getting on horses and chasing an innocent</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">furry creature round the hills until it gives up and lets a pack of</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">dogs rip it to pieces. This may not be what you, I or most other</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">people regard as sport, but they've been doing it for centuries, and</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">it came in handy as training when they wanted to get rid of a</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">generation of silly buggers by telling them to make a charge of the</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">light brigade up the wrong valley.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">If there is one thing that the Englanders can't stand, it's constantly</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">whinging Jocks walking away with Englander klonkers in their pockets</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">for free from lazy bugger benefits, so we will have to wait to see</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 15px; line-height: 25px;">what happens next.</span></div>
robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-42841907742508521852015-07-15T01:02:00.001+11:002015-07-15T01:35:44.043+11:00July report from our Scottish political correspondent<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/media/images/75051000/jpg/_75051053_skye_bbc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/media/images/75051000/jpg/_75051053_skye_bbc.jpg" height="179" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br /></span>
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Rob,</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">You may not have heard that the snips are taking yet another leaf out </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">of Mugabe's book, and are planning a land grab via the Scottish Land </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Reform Act.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">The problem for the snips is that the only Jock war vets heareabouts </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">are the ones who fought for thon Jock socialist (now </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">multi-millionaire) Tony "Things Can Only Get Better" Blair in Iraq, </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">and the snips don't like him anymore.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">So, their plan is to redistribute the land in a different way - the </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">longer you've been bone-idle, the fatter you are and the wider your </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">plasma screen, the more land you will get.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">As soon as the recipients realise that from their new boggy-bit lands </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">they can't get a Sky TV signal and that the nearest offie is far more </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">than 100 yards away, there will be a mass Jexit back to the schemes.</span></div>
robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-76075943046221632982015-05-25T08:44:00.001+11:002015-05-25T08:53:46.516+11:00autumn sky<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-84040024276833123232015-05-25T08:44:00.000+11:002015-05-25T08:44:04.399+11:00From our Scottish TV Critic<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">I've given up watching all thae TV programmes about fat, bone-idle </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">proletarians on benefits with massive flatscreens. And also those </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">progs about compulsive clearners (mainly because I sympathised with </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">them).</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">Now, I'm watching The Island </span><a href="http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-island-with-bear-grylls" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0" x-apple-data-detectors-type="link" x-apple-data-detectors="true">http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-island-with-bear-grylls</a></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">
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<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">The Island is a tiny bit like I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">Here, but without the celebrities</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">There are two islands. One island, they drop 14 lads onto. The other they </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">drop 14 lassies onto. Beforehand they get two days of survival </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">training. The islands are in the tropics.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">In the laddish island, they mostly argue about who is the alpha male. </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">But they also had to get their act together to kill the crocodile </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">for something to eat. </span><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3053336/Pictured-controversial-moment-contestants-Bear-Grylls-survival-Island-killed-protected-American-crocodile.html" x-apple-data-detectors-result="1" x-apple-data-detectors-type="link" x-apple-data-detectors="true">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3053336/Pictured-controversial-moment-contestants-Bear-Grylls-survival-Island-killed-protected-American-crocodile.html</a></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 19px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">Meanwhile, on the lassies' island, they mostly got completely lost and </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">went round in circles for several days because, unbelievably, they all </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">had worse directional skills than Crazy John.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">I find the lassie island more interesting.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">They don't seem very good at survival, but they bitch less than the </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">lads. They were all wet and soggy and depressed and lost, but then </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">one of them was featured, and she was calm, and still had a sense of </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">humour, and was also gorgeous. </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">And I thought...I could live with you on The Island. </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">But then the next day I think the sand flies had been at her during </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">the night, and her face had a million bites and was not so attractive.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">Then they featured the Scottish lassie. Attractive, has a </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">personality, is a bit lippy, but nice with it.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">They (it is filmed by the participants) showed her walking along the </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">beach after the previous night's storm, looking at the washed up debris </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">including various plastic bottles. </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">She picked up one of the bottles, and said, "Aye. Look at this wan. </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">It's called [brand name deleted]. Disgusting, so it is. Tastes just like sperm!" </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;"></span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8994686216499855970#FN1"><sup>1</sup></a><br />
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); color: black; font-family: Times;">
<br /></div>
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">At this moment, all the male folk watching the program woke up from their </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">slumbers. She'll have a lot to live down, when she gets back home. </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">And I thought...I could live with you on The Island.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">The lassies were on one beach where there were two young wild </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">pigs. Really young hogs. </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">And they left that beach for another beach where there was fresh water. </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">The wee pigs followed them several miles to the new beach, for unknown reasons. </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">The wee pigs became pets. They slept with the lassies at night. </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">Several days later, when they've had nae food whatsoever, talk amongst </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">the lassies gets round to the fact that there is suckling pig walking </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">around the camp.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">The sperm taster turns out to be a vegetarian (yes, explain that one </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">to me), the others are nowhere to be seen, but saying things like "You </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">can't kill a pet". </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">One of them is a qualified doctor.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">Then, up to the mark steps the gorgeous babe who previously attempted </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">to row the Atlantic (or similar). </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">This one is regarded by the others as 'the strongest amongs us'. </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">She's gorgeous, also, and has sharp blue eyes and lips that suggest alliances.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">So eventually the doctor, another one and the strongest one pick up </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">the suckling pigs. </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">The gorgeous one says "Don't get them stressed. Just hold them </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">gently, but firmly, while I cut them. They won't feel pain."</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">Which she does. </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">And I think, I totally want to live with you on The Island. </span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.235294); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">It's wonderful TV. It's far better than Excessive Compulsive Cleaners.</span></div>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8994686216499855970"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.broadcastnow.co.uk/pictures/636xAny/0/0/4/1212004_island_final.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO" style="cursor: hand; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8994686216499855970" name="FN1"></a><sup>1</sup><small>all opinions expressed are not necessarily etc....</small></div>
robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-88087487110248735422015-05-09T08:58:00.001+11:002015-05-09T08:58:19.374+11:00more from our Scottish political correspondent<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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You won't have seen the Scottish newspapers yesterday. The Sun,</div>
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which is owned by thon Ozzie fascist chap who gets his income from</div>
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those proletarians of low intelligence, had a full front page photo of</div>
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Ed Milliband eating his bacon sarnie from months ago, and looking</div>
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decidedly weird.</div>
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<br /></div>
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And I thought - how low can you get?</div>
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<br /></div>
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Then I looked over to the SNP newspaper, The National, and it had a</div>
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smaller copy of that same photo, along with photos of all the other</div>
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non-Nat Nutter leaders taken during episodes of severe flatulence and</div>
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all looking very weird. Yes, even Broonie suffers from flatulence</div>
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from time to time, which added to his glass een, can make him look</div>
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extremely weird. And I thought - so that's what it comes down to for</div>
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the too-dumb-to-be-able-to-count - i.e. don't vote for someone who six</div>
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months ago had a photo of themselves looking weird two hours after</div>
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eating a veggie burger.</div>
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<br /></div>
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But don't worry. 66.1% was the turnout in this general election.</div>
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84.5% was the turnout in the last Referendum. There are therefore</div>
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still hundreds of thousands of folk who, like me, didnae pitch up to</div>
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vote yesterday, but who will always, always, always pitch up to vote</div>
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No in any Scottish Referendum to defeat the fascist Nat Nutters, the</div>
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hopelessly romantic, the bone idle, and those who think Scotland can</div>
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nationalise BP.</div>
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<br /></div>
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And we feel secure in the fact that, though the good Nippy Sweetie</div>
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may repeatedly threaten to skelp Fat Eck's backside, the man with</div>
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verbal diarrhea himself has not only now been let loose on Westminster</div>
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and the press in that part of the country, but has also never been</div>
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properly potty trained and therefore will always completely and</div>
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utterly over-anticipate the ultimate outcome of a Highland Charge. I</div>
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would definitely have voted for him if I'd lived in the constituency</div>
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of Gordon, simply in order to get him to Westminster.</div>
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<br /></div>
</div>
robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-21744932112101492432015-04-30T11:06:00.000+11:002015-04-30T11:06:34.225+11:00email from our Scottish political correspondent<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">I'm totally positive about the forthcoming election, because, whatever</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">the outcome, the Nat Nutters will be the eventual losers.</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Scenarios:</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">1. The Nat Nutters gain all seats in Scotland, and demand another</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Referendum. This is the best outcome because, what with the fall in</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">oil prices and the now certainty that Scotland could not keep the £</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">and would have to print worthless Groats, hardly anyone who can do</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">sums will vote Yes in that Referendum. Having two No votes in quick</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">succession will surely stop even the Jock whingers for a generation or</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">so. This is actually why the Nippy Sweetie has more or less ruled out</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">the possibility of another quick Referendum.</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">2. The Nat Nutters do well in Scotland. The 'Red' Eds are the</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">largest party and form the next government with Fat Eck's occasional</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">support. Fat Eck writes the budget. This is not quite so good, but</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">what it will mean is that the economy will quickly be half-wrecked,</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">benefits will be increased which will mean that due to demand, the</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">price of street drugs will sky-rocket, and who will get the blame for</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">the economic downturn? Fat Eck and the Nat Nutters who have written</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">the budget! After a few years, the Posh Boys will be elected once</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">again so that they can sort things out once again. The Nat Nutters</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">economics will be shown to be crap, in practice.</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">3. Although the Nat Nutters do well in Scotland. The Posh Boys are</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">the largest party, and form the government with the help of the Libs</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">and Nigels and continue to sort the rest of the stuff out. In five</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">years time everyone except the bone idle will be loaded with spare</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">cash, and it will be plain madness to want to leave the Union for</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">independence. Not that this will stop the Nat Nutters from whinging.</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">4. No-one gets a real majority or is able to form much of a</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">government for any length of time. As happened in Belgium in</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">2010/11, you don't actually need to have much of a government for</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">things to continue. If things are only continuing, they can't change</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">much, and the economy will continue to prosper. In five years time</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">everyone will be loaded and (see end of 3 above).</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">5. The 'Red' Eds win the election outright. This is possibly the</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">worst scenario. The economy then does badly because the 'Red' Eds</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">borrow billions. The Nat Nutters whinge. But everyone knows that the</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Nat Nutters' economic plans are more or less the same as the 'Red'</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Eds', so the Nat Nutters' support will suffer in the long term. This</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">possibly worst-case scenario for Unionists is less likely, thank goodness,</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">because it is the Nat Nutters who are taking seats from the 'Red' Eds.</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Yay the Nat Nutters! They never learn!</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">6. The Posh Boys win the election outright. No need for another quick</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Referendum, and in five years time the rest of the stuff will be</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">sorted and everyone apart from the bone idle will be loaded and not</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">want to commit political suicide.</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Of course, in the meantime we will have to suffer the global</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">embarrassment of seeing pissed Nat Nutters falling about in the George</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Square fountains the day after the election on the news, but in fact</span><br style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">this will only go to show the world what they are really like.</span></div>
robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-17352369746253847082015-04-28T08:13:00.001+11:002015-04-28T08:13:15.476+11:00Letter to the editor<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">I think that there should be another Scottish Referendum, ASAP.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">This is because there have been two substantial changes since the last</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">one. </span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;"><br /></span>
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">a) the massive drop in oil prices, which makes it</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">obvious, even to nat nutters, that a separate Scotland would be a</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">complete and utter economic disaster, and </span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">b) we now all know that a</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">separate Scotland would have to have its own currency, and everything</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">that that would entail.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">I am for another Referendum on one important condition - that is, when</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">the majority vote 'No' once again, the nat and snip nutters </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">promise to </span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; color: #1e1e1e; font-family: OpenSans; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25px;">stop whinging for a generation.</span><br />
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robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-43358862103419973422015-04-25T10:42:00.000+11:002015-04-25T10:42:33.854+11:00Anzac Day report from our Southern Hemisphere Military Correspondent<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Sir John Monash was probably the best General of WWI. </div>
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He not only invented the principle of providing his men with air cover. He also used tanks for cover and machine gun attack, plus the creeping barrage, whereby the field gun would project shells in front of the men.</div>
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Adam Henry McKibbin of the 4th Machine Gun Corps wrote home about the industrial machine, useless British generals, the putrid smell of flesh and the total waste of human life. His letters were uncensored because he sent them home from Weymouth recuperating from gas. </div>
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None of this Nancy Boy "<i>oh that's totally un-PC</i>" CRAP - that's just straight out of some middle class L*zzo-F*g, left wing, shut-the-argument-down-because-it-may-offend-our-sensibilities, bullsh*t. Unfortunately they are the very people that have f***ed left wing politics in this country. And unlike the Labourites of old, have never done a decent days physical work in their whole lives, but see themselves as life's VICTIMS and MARTYRS.</div>
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And as for the little Johnny Too Goods going to Gallipoli now for the commemoration service, well I'd get them to sign up for Military Service on their return, except their Mummies wouldn't like it.</div>
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Australians need to harden-the-f***-up or we will be overrun one day.</div>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8994686216499855970"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO" src="https://northamerica.uq.edu.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/anz.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a>
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The views expressed here are not necessarily etc....</div>
robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-21005735976611255222014-05-16T21:40:00.002+11:002014-05-16T21:40:51.496+11:00Lord of The Ring<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I lost the gold ring that I've had almost all my life. Everyone in my family used to have identical rings, but they had all lost theirs, or had them stolen. Owning the last remaining ring had allowed me to annoy them by claiming to be the rightful family head.</div>
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So I went to the cop shop in case someone handed it in. The police were very friendly, and when I showed them a photo of the ring, they said it would be helpful if they could have the original file for their database. To reach my USB stick, I unpacked half of my backpack on the counter, including a discarded bail court attendance order that I had found in the street outside. </div>
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I warned them that there might be hundreds of photos on the stick, but they said that wasn't a problem. One of the officers plugged my USB stick into his computer and seemed to spend a long time looking at the contents. I suddenly wondered - what the hell else have I got on the stick? Eventually he found the ring pic, and took a copy to file with his report.</div>
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When I got home, I checked the stick, and found multiple full frontal photos that Denny and I took of each other, pissed of course. </div>
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robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-26434612753037144452014-02-12T10:00:00.002+11:002014-02-12T10:08:03.199+11:00briefly<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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How James Bond transports delicate seedlings home on the bus.</div>
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robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-14448517322413135502014-01-15T09:53:00.000+11:002014-01-15T09:53:05.314+11:00phone rage<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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One reason I hate cinemas is the interruptions from the mobile phones of inconsiderate bastards. Why can't these people just switch their handsets off? <a href="http://on.mash.to/1aCLEfn">This guy</a> agrees with me.</div>
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So I avoid the cinema, except that last week I went to see American Hustle (not bad, though you have to concentrate on the plot's bluffs and double bluffs). Half way through, a phone goes off, and keeps on ringing. Some self-centred <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder">NPD</a> sufferer hasn't switched his phone off. Typical! Then I realise the noise is from deep in my backpack. The one time I forget to silence my phone, is the very time one of my few friends has chosen to call! And these days I have the volume set to stun. </div>
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So what to do? Wade into my bag, knowing the ringing will get even louder as I unearth it? No, I decide to brazen it out till they hang up. Except they don't. Eventually I have to bite the bullet and bring out the phone. By this time it can almost be heard in the next cinema.</div>
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Finally it's silenced, nobody has punched me, and we can all get back to watching the film. </div>
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A minute later, the SMS alert noise tells me the caller has left a message. Now, peering through my distance-vision specs, I try to work out how to switch it to silent. At last it's done. Panic over. </div>
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By this time I've missed enough of the film to have lost the plot. </div>
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A few minutes later, my friend has decided to try ringing me on my other phone, also set to maximum volume, also at the bottom of my bag, and the whole rigmarole begins again. By now the film's ruined, but it hasn't been a total waste of time. I've had the humbling experience of learning that inconsiderate bastards aren't just them out there, it's me too. I believe some people would meditate half a lifetime to achieve that kind of oneness with the universe. </div>
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robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-73457364838548130402014-01-11T08:27:00.001+11:002014-01-11T08:27:57.456+11:00germanic classics<div id="dE_H" style="font-family:Helvetica;font-size:18px;white-space:pre-wrap;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;;width:100%; height:100%; ;"><div><div>The old German classic book for children, Struwwelpeter, is a collection of severe moral tales for kids. Little Jimmy Head-in-the-air, doesn't look where he's going, falls in a canal and drowns. Little Johnny Suck-a-thumb gets his thumb cut off. Message - when shit happens it's your own fault.<br /><br />I live in a place not noted for centuries of intellectual writing. Sitting on a bench, waiting for the bus home from the town supermarket, I was reading Jonathan Franzen's new book. I was congratulating myself on my postmodern sensitivity - Franzen has just translated Karl Kraus's 20th century writing about Heinrich Heine's 19th century writing. The new book presents the German text on the left page, and the English on the right, but the footnotes take up most of both pages</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div><img id="img51e065c5-9530-4cd2-96d2-3ed71507a58d" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFsykfS3pjAirF52QYtHDe932tpQWjyV0m_rLZg1QX7tN5i_dfJy4aqBvCx4xyWXybbykzwkncTcFQT8KEbijbUy_PcHWN-ZgeVnG25jv64RDou1CSodBy4YtejGFPdd19EySzoA6rNR8/" mvc="false" class="" style="text-align: center; height: 389px; width: 508px; margin: 0px; resize: none; zoom: 1; display: block;"></div><div><br /><br />I got on the bus and continued reading. Franzen views Kraus as a 1900s blogger, and re-casts his dichotomy - German austere functionality vs French/Italian aesthetics - as a contemporary rivalry: stodgy workmanlike PC vs glitzy cool Mac. Function vs Form. Two European cultures. And how clever of me to be reading about it! <br /><br />As I got off the bus at the other end, I realised I had idiotically left my shopping on the bench in the town. I had been too engrossed in the book. So I crossed the road and caught a bus going back the other way. When I got there, my bags were just where I had left them. I'm lucky to live in a place that hasn't produced any Einsteins or Stuwwelpeters, but they don't nick your stuff. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div></div></div>robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-52604363542144308652013-12-26T20:53:00.001+11:002023-09-07T07:55:03.682+11:00barricades and barbecues<div id="dE_H" style="-webkit-overflow-scrolling: touch; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; height: 100%; white-space: pre-wrap; width: 100%;"><font face="Times" size="3"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); white-space: normal;">I've survived another night in NZ, staying with the trusting outlaws, who happily leave their doors and windows open all night. I've had to barricade my bedroom door. <br /><br />It's Xmas morning, and New Zealand's main worry is whether the rain will spoil barbecue plans. I agree with them - at least if everyone's out in the garden, you can get peace to watch the TV. <br /><br />I read a quote: Christmas is that special time when the whole family gathers in one place to look at their smartphones. <br /></span></font><div><br /></div><div><font face="Times" size="3"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; white-space: normal;">In this country there seems to be a church on every second corner. Most of them are tiny, and look like ordinary houses. You learn to tell them apart by looking at the apex of the roof - a TV aerial means a house, but a cross means a church.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font face="Times" size="3"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; white-space: normal;"><br /></span></font></div><div style="text-align: left;"><font face="Times" size="3"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; white-space: normal;">Apart from the antenna this looks like a church:</span></font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font face="Times" size="3"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; white-space: normal;"><br /></span></font></div><div><img id="imge7672546-c688-4c94-9c03-1ec014d7218f" mvc="false" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpIhyJQXCf79vPpin3jstumSsNasTDCQKwIG9d6zSFTcCzr9VrNMS8J9OYxWh6wXTuw2ws-Res3lddZ1e6SGzdEhXVjNGi2wW_w4mx71ktfhAW1xJm_X4jkS0_ZFJi-Cy9KpPMnT4FpMo/" style="display: block; height: 508px; margin: 0px; resize: none; text-align: center; width: 508px; zoom: 1;" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Without the cross this would be a house:</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><img id="imgd8f6a29e-4cd5-4bed-a01b-a5ad5687c38d" mvc="false" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXJHszBkc4tqQzMdYGe-BU85Zjfj9ohTwsV2NvWd_-mAD__wpVEuwEi15RFqtNuHINbFtUZl-3VFfElQSUPkIUpay1vV3TdPoZQf7RyirluGHAaXTB6LgMj-sIyTKPKlw6nfLSO1Je3VQ/" style="display: block; height: 509px; margin: 0px; resize: none; text-align: center; width: 508px; zoom: 1;" /></div></div>robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-4410859169125840082013-12-20T15:25:00.001+11:002013-12-20T15:25:31.923+11:00wet wet wet<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: medium; white-space: normal;">Meanwhile, someone I live with had offered kindly to sit reading near a window, in case I fell off and injured myself. But she was so immersed in her book, I wondered if she would even notice if there was an emergency. At one point I leaned down from the ladder and banged repeatedly on the window for her to come out and help. No response. Apparently s</span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: medium; white-space: normal;">he "didn't realise" I wanted help. P</span><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: medium; white-space: normal;">robably she thought I was just saying hello, or practicing drumming. It's an easy mistake to make.</span></div>
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robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-55309289978205669242013-12-16T06:21:00.001+11:002013-12-16T06:21:05.752+11:00summer<div id="dE_H" style="font-family:Helvetica;font-size:18px;white-space:pre-wrap;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;;width:100%; height:100%; ;">The summer holidays have begun, a time of free simple pleasures. (Muddah faddah kindly disregard the last post). The beans are popping up.<div><br></div><div><br><img id="img76dd6f70-8a85-4974-b6f7-6ac205137d37" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2N7-kwJXzVMCwtOGOZfGQoO6agxit6PgsKpv0y-Eeyk12K5i0IheJKfgoQQt-dbm-c5iX5a4osld04C_7ZJftuenO9EzOriF8rVaS8oQDsJ-S9LV-1tI7GtDdXoDidVHMhdgSgtaIHjc/" style="height: 683px; width: 516px; margin: 0px; resize: none; zoom: 1; display: block; " mvc="false" class=""></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Those are snake beans, but there's also soy, borlotti, and this monster, an Egyptian hyacinth bean, which is edible when young but poisonous when mature.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><img id="img9ddd2a75-b913-4e02-a704-7b88e44baecb" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKRJeenrxvaPciYs_7zDmqvfZbaCW36T4X-3vAzJpRbsuf5D2Qlr5c2fism_WhtNW4aFQRn6lYDx9VtR3-hV0tpd5HkaW5x2FHVJI_ISHiIaEUz2BnGFJj57tzweOD4a6eakvEJp4boEI/" style="height: 683px; width: 516px; margin: 0px; resize: none; zoom: 1; display: block; " mvc="false" class=""></div><div><br><br>The silver beet is looking juicy. Probably the slugs, birds and possums will agree.</div><div><br></div><div><br><img id="imgf0efd520-f37c-4e14-93fb-c7d6d21db993" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYklmZ3wlkXaFXErGlDP4cfaSP97BWpVv6_HyvB97y84cHlH8IUPi0Gh08-2qITC4xzk-rNWY-3GVpflFy7il2IojH2MXbVD8tM_cMDNUkVghrmGHggbeRYVzLgQawVWndpF7mTUzRmyA/" style="height: 715px; width: 548px; margin: 0px; resize: none; zoom: 1; display: block; " mvc="false" class=""><br><br>Yesterday I finished the book about the history of the periodic table. Fascinating, even if some sections brought back school memories of incomprehensible chemistry classes. </div><div><br></div><div><br><a id="lnkimgc8ae24a7-8534-4ede-8ae6-8c0903888c38" target="_self" href=""><img id="imgc8ae24a7-8534-4ede-8ae6-8c0903888c38" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfAmmiLmpWrhdPGrgtCpxlonc7rqLYztARYSh9D42kVEhOwGh5Ht0MJwbs7Jc1FeyysWV2iviDuI8JEioNqp9EAuCO7IEbVD_mUD4DTsxjRgy60xoNnvBm9onCGwKUM6OWQmhVGryc99c/" style="height: 665px; width: 501px; margin: 0px; resize: none; zoom: 1; display: block; " mvc="false" class=""></a><br><br>As reward for finishing that, I'm now immersed in this Irvine Welsh, before the film comes out here. One druggy summer in Edinburgh, working as a dish washer I rubbed shoulders with ruffians (and the drug squad).</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><img id="img32065bc8-934a-47fa-acb8-ce494ba950e1" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCGO0fHT0wwJg50GM5pAtI-twC6zrMdIq9Z-4F_d4W7fW5j_WSMNSi-3SaaJmlmVwmzs-ljsRc6HONZDemrxtq_mrj56rVu2WTjPf5NjhsTo-M8I0qo5w8fmgyq4j7P83Ch4O23HmchMw/" style="height: 675px; width: 508px; margin: 0px; resize: none; zoom: 1; display: block; " mvc="false" class=""></div><div><br /></div></div>robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-66753808708634090202013-12-14T18:40:00.001+11:002013-12-14T18:40:02.200+11:00first world disasters<div id="dE_H" style="font-family:Helvetica;font-size:18px;white-space:pre-wrap;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;;width:100%; height:100%; ;"><div><font face="Arial" size="3">I'm not one to complain.</font></div><div><font face="Arial" size="3"><br></font></div><div><div style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><font face="Arial" size="3">Losing your job is a major life event. But so is not losing your job, when you've had your heart set on being sacked (with a handshake).</font></div></div><div><font face="Arial" size="3"><br></font></div><div><span style="white-space: normal; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><font face="Arial" size="3">Then I lost a dear friend and confidant, my smartphone. Diary gone! Umpteen passwords to change and loopholes to close. Trying not to think of the embarrassing and compromising material now out there in the public domain.</font></span></div><div><br></div><div><font face="Arial" size="3">On the way home last night I went shopping to buy myself something nice, as consolation. Then I realised there's nothing I want. Nothing! You'd think</font><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium; "> that's a sign that life's perfect, wouldn't you?</span></div><div><div><div><font face="Arial" size="3"><br></font></div><div><font size="3"></font><br /></div></div></div></div>robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-48699853806532250262013-12-08T15:22:00.001+11:002013-12-08T15:22:01.717+11:003 captains, or 4 if you count the cricket guy.<div id="dE_H" style="font-family:Helvetica;font-size:18px;white-space:pre-wrap;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;;width:100%; height:100%; ;"><div style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; white-space: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></div><div style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; white-space: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">I had an email from Rodders.</div><div style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; white-space: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br><blockquote type="cite" x-apple-mail="AppleTemporaryPresentationElement">On 8 Dec 2013, at 10:33, Rodders wrote:<br></blockquote></div><blockquote type="cite" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px; white-space: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">R,<br><br>Must admit that it confuses me that, the creekit about to happen, you<br>are concentrating on sleeping. Surely, you should be doing Our Prayer<br>for Cap'n Cook and the boys?<br></blockquote><br><font face="Times" size="3"><span style="white-space: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Coincidentally, last week I spent a day walking from the spot where Captain James Cook landed, later passing the place where former class captain Albert first lived after he landed, to end up at the shack where Cap'n Kev now lives (he came ashore and sold the boat).</span></font><div><font face="Times" size="3"><span style="white-space: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span></font></div><div><font face="Times" size="3"><span style="white-space: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span></font></div><div><br><img id="img3d6d7eb1-00f0-4f16-9894-19889eff47d4" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaIJtoxO6lkF7o-Ij9XNKL3bEZ8gRw1xa7J3s_tcre4IUt3i_LFQQWwT5L2nUyzbEcmnKsWHTlB3KfAopM1DPy2u50SVbCi3RpHx7pCyGxOGecEKpL1pi8xGd40Ldq7ZthbfQme7hSEsI/" mvc="false" class="" style="height: 295px; width: 516px; margin: 0px; resize: none; zoom: 1; display: block;"><img id="img0c5107ac-316c-41f1-8f90-8e0a1a441ff3" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi05_uW_ldQ_GMoj8lJpddxpv-m20eSiGqqvkBjfR855BOhg2JTK013NCSqHg5B0SukbcglfgbaIIstgaL1Eq3CaKcppncrsvldC-DqrICRPdzEa0JVsdzeIzxNIoNGsXwqy_jd5qMHLaA/" mvc="false" class="" style="height: 456px; width: 476px; margin: 0px; resize: none; zoom: 1; display: block;"><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div></div></div>robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-11537317165107652852013-11-21T07:36:00.001+11:002013-11-21T08:17:55.208+11:00great big pest<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Have you ever seen garden pests like this before? They're huge, and I think they look rather chic. They were in a neighbour's garden, and only on a specific species of plant. </div>
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The blue one is an interloper. I think we all know how he feels.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEgH2a8ZgiFV3YFhXNI6dQZqWHf3qppyOUFM2clF9fr8jchyphenhyphenffrtxu4psB1mUsl0oDx-xOlKVtz9YMdBl7fpw7vilJXmz2jrBp7YPE7G71CQ1B3gx7Sk4Vj0xFZepT2-QwZFhfHQIdxEA/s1600/IMG_6443.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEgH2a8ZgiFV3YFhXNI6dQZqWHf3qppyOUFM2clF9fr8jchyphenhyphenffrtxu4psB1mUsl0oDx-xOlKVtz9YMdBl7fpw7vilJXmz2jrBp7YPE7G71CQ1B3gx7Sk4Vj0xFZepT2-QwZFhfHQIdxEA/s320/IMG_6443.png" width="238" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4IdvVKCCOtR88YV9gOCLwVLVRLQSiUnrgzjtHRITC_KVd6R_daCxd3HjKDkrnD64i0iMUrW9RUHS7DY1E8mnDmQjXjDQCArS6zeBLQJmj8PMItReWiOvJZVrJxZoRnVVikzOym8Gn_RY/s1600/IMG_6444.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4IdvVKCCOtR88YV9gOCLwVLVRLQSiUnrgzjtHRITC_KVd6R_daCxd3HjKDkrnD64i0iMUrW9RUHS7DY1E8mnDmQjXjDQCArS6zeBLQJmj8PMItReWiOvJZVrJxZoRnVVikzOym8Gn_RY/s320/IMG_6444.png" width="239" /></a></div>
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In the second picture, they're on a bin beside the plant, perhaps waiting their turn on the leaves.</div>
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robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-82756877184147282332013-11-17T18:28:00.001+11:002013-11-17T18:28:17.460+11:00passing the time / water<div id="dE_H" style="font-family:Helvetica;font-size:18px;white-space:pre-wrap;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;;width:100%; height:100%; ;">In the <span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">jazz </span>club last night, while waiting for the concert to start, people were fiddling with their phones. To fit in, I reacquainted myself with the first app I ever downloaded, called Urinal Challenge.<br /><br>The aim is to answer all 25 questions correctly. The first few are easy.<div><br></div><div> <br><img id="img1a0a23a7-1a6b-4a0f-a71f-dddd253dcd0d" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX7Cc72nQT0lxAhuPOuWIpjx1c4T2hrPBQtsBxFr4yusf5b8WPNPGUGgSNb4rnRpUWz8EMNCTAKlfj8sfQtdoGUOtlDIn3UWXFFFA6nVKzD1NbKqwp_vS7OKP43xENgH5uz3rNa08W_Hk/" style="height: 350px; width: 516px; margin: 0px; resize: none; zoom: 1; display: block; " mvc="false" class=""><br><br>The first answer is obvious. You should choose the free urinal at far right.</div><div><br></div><div>Most of the questions are common sense if you're a normal male like myself. For example, question 7.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><img id="img9b7e9db0-3396-4d72-b865-a5cbe0865ccd" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkPI_uKN19l7LhMlTCYRq1Yv2nMpPEBUs4neJF75C-QYRYvEKXXBZZyOvERXWEQCTP70v3ik6hDJCY8HDPyC_rCNNdqJOfA5Pk0iINa-og_8ZMIMKX16fQ8T0sV3gJq-Yg0pA7iR_O7eQ/" style="height: 342px; width: 508px; margin: 0px; resize: none; zoom: 1; display: block; " mvc="false" class=""></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>By the time you get to question 14 you have to think really carefully. I messed up. After I guessed wrong, the green arrow revealed the official correct choice:</div><div><br></div><div><br><img id="img0c2771f6-2460-4a36-ab48-41e3f507d941" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpMww9GrG06p1FeoCcHRTE2HzpOPGkBp0NR88AimOFVAAIHx4cnv3BWLCJoEzaeGaaavowZ4kLoPoR8xiPIXyar9DISM41mvEClEbS4rzE3uyip31XE7n0AGbs12BM_M03jOfjfe30UDc/" style="height: 358px; width: 524px; margin: 0px; resize: none; zoom: 1; display: block; " mvc="false" class=""><br><br>I had chosen the position next to it. Can you understand my reasoning? My personal best is 22 out of 25, equivalent to 88%. At university that's a Distinction.</div><div><br><div><br></div><br><br /></div></div>robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-9964895243195097982013-11-14T09:37:00.001+11:002013-11-14T09:37:26.950+11:00conference extremes<div id="dE_H" style="-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;;width:100%; height:100%; ;">This week I went to a conference, probably the last one I'll ever attend. Very enjoyable, the complete opposite of my first-ever conference. It all balances out.<div><br></div><div>My first one was half a lifetime ago in Cambridge, where I had to deliver a half-hearted and vacuous paper in front of about 600 clever and critical tech-heads. Stressful as eff.</div><div><br></div><div>If that was my most inhumane conference, this week's was the opposite. A roomful of like-minded geeks, communicating by tweets, with no need for small talk and other annoyances. All tweets, questions and interjections from the floor were actually on-topic! </div><div><div><div><br></div></div></div></div>robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-21360178369590667672013-10-28T18:13:00.001+11:002013-10-28T18:13:45.344+11:00show business as usual<div id="dE_H" style="font-family:Helvetica;font-size:18px;white-space:pre-wrap;-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;;width:100%; height:100%; ;"><div><span style="font-size: medium; white-space: normal; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; ">Distraction's the name of the game, so the Kardashian and Gaga backsides are more noteworthy than the US tapping Merkel's phone for a decade.</span></div><div style="font-size: medium; white-space: normal; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "><br></div><div style="font-size: medium; white-space: normal; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; ">Or as old school chum Phil says - why will the NSA director's declaration, that newspapers reporting the Snowden affair should be shut down, not make the TV news? Answer: because Miley Cyrus's spat with Sinead O'Connor is FAR MORE IMPORTANT!!!</div><div style="font-size: medium; white-space: normal; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "><br></div><div style="font-size: medium; white-space: normal; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; ">I distracted myself with two films in the last few days.</div><div style="font-size: medium; white-space: normal; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "><br></div><div style="font-size: medium; white-space: normal; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; ">Captain Phillips - immensely exciting, without a single car chase, zombie, warlock, or superhero. And by Hollywood standards, only minimally gung-ho. </div><div style="font-size: medium; white-space: normal; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "><br></div><div style="font-size: medium; white-space: normal; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; ">Gravity - 90 minutes of SFX in search of a story. They say that every Sandra Bullock movie contract stipulates that the male lead has to tell her how attractive she is, and this film honoured that tradition. To be fair though, her acting was more believable than the script. I suppose the 3D version would be fascinating after a herbal smoke.</div><br><br><br /></div>robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-57039934765513686532013-10-23T08:19:00.001+11:002013-10-23T08:19:45.187+11:00trains boats and planes<div id="dE_H" style="-webkit-overflow-scrolling:touch;;width:100%; height:100%; ;">I'm indebted to Albert for these euphemistic news snippets from down under:<div><br></div><div><br /><div>(Bureaucrat-speak re Sydney light rail closure after several derailments): <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; ">initial investigations showed there were several contributing factors to the derailment, which were "related to an interface issue between the wheels and the rail that has led to accelerated friction and wheel wear."</span></div><div><br /><br><font size="3"><span style="white-space: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">(After Qantas planes only just avoided a head-on collision thanks to pilots' quick reflexes): t</span></font><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; ">wo Qantas jetliners were flying in opposite directions between Sydney and Perth on September 20 when they were involved in what is known as a "loss of separation" in air space near Adelaide.</span><blockquote type="cite"><br></blockquote><blockquote type="cite">Albert's personal news is that he has returned to the ranks at work. Last week after a 20k hike in the heat, he came home by ferry with a smoker's cough from the bush fires.</blockquote></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><img id="img33a6037f-60e1-4567-a0ce-e4c17e9234bc" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV8UjMpGE-OXsYerwUangJUBOZuQcFCsfkB9q2SqyeD1-jCvqk1_fIsgv24E41QvqUt-6f75vwItRgzzfUIrdQlWoGWcOiTwmgN4f3YoTm5Vt7HmTX-b1OXhqC7hqDO4PD_IzMIdcfDjk/" style="height: 508px; width: 508px; margin: 0px; resize: none; zoom: 1; display: block; " mvc="false" class=""></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br /><br><br /><img id="imgb74d595c-e407-4606-baff-e9854b8f6f17" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFHeJTpmBVWMke_3Yd8pt6nggw8DZWDnOQHlb9oQGJYi5AZ5pmiK4HN78Cbk5bTFqF5HFxKboJBc5I8vCk33WIyFcBBA6c6GUpMqMgEKGWcRU5dIKcRZ8dmhs2i3Mx8euI_otezz3Gt2o/" style="height: 522px; width: 508px; margin: 0px; resize: none; zoom: 1; display: block; " mvc="false" class=""><br><br /><br><br /><br><br /><br><br /><br><br /><br><br /><br><br /><br><br /><br><br /><br><br /><br><br /><br><br /><br><br /></div></div></div>robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-40338890395765193012013-09-20T22:59:00.001+11:002013-09-23T10:49:56.981+11:00fortunate ones<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The job I'm doing at the moment required me to discipline someone this week. If I had gone ahead right away, my discomfort would have caused me to make a mess of it, and everybody would have felt bad. Instead, I took a couple of days to mull it over, and consider options.<br />
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Today I did the deed, gently and fairly but without backing down or going soft. What a fortunate person he was, to have me on his case!<br />
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Meanwhile, last week's heat wave has ended in a return to winter chill, and the poor plants don't know if they're coming or going. These flowers are growing in the gap between houses, near where the possum jumps across every night. I'd like to discipline it with a shotgun.<br />
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It's Friday, and to paraphrase John Grierson I wish you all, over the borders and over the sea, in the campervan, or bus to Samye Ling, a very good night.
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robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-2906457257510585812013-09-12T11:00:00.001+11:002013-09-12T11:00:54.363+11:00action stations!<div id="dE_H" style=";width:100%; height:100%; ;">In the lead up to the mass sackings next month, Albert is spending the final weeks in his boss's chair, while the boss blows all his leave entitlement on a world tour. <div><br></div><div>Albert's discovered he's actually rather good as a manager. He's still useless at the awful meetings, where there's endless talk about nothing. But he's very efficient at getting things done, while treating people with warmth. The other managers sit plonked at their desks all day, tied to keyboard and phone, but Albert uses his legs and the stairs to visit people and talk. With all the exercise and the adrenalin buzz, Albert will surely come out ahead, or in a box.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm a bit like that myself, thanks to the toilet training and nob school. If the navy hadn't knocked me back on the eyesight test when I was young, I'd have worked my way up to Executive Officer, the person below the captain who actually gets things done. Of course the free rum ration would have sunk me long ago. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img id="imge9416e97-5e17-4cd4-839c-d789dedf6288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyL5AR67LiHROWZEQv_5FKDXsbQ4kr5oJ4vqke7jBrFZ1CZ-Mf2wregfY29XZfSSl53oiPA6t3FNxx9ssIep65lZ5B281rgamdt_hu3cCsO8C0QptK8ejhGu2uMQkWQ97SN4sdfzKygHU/" style="height:525px;width:300px;opacity:1;left:210px;top:322px" class="" mvc="false"><br></div><div></div><br><div><br></div><div>Albert's actually rather hoping he's not re-employed after the sackings, but w<span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">hat on earth would he do with his forced retirement? Probably start blowing dough on holidays and food, like Rodders. Or on drugs and escorts, like Hotters. </span></div></div>robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8994686216499855970.post-46160338175868790252013-09-04T09:11:00.002+11:002013-09-04T09:11:42.618+11:00industrial relations in new south caledonia<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
At the end of a long campaign last year, Albert's union won him the obligation to work an extra five hours a week, unpaid. This year's negotiations have resulted in a mass sacking. <br />
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Now he and his workmates have been invited to apply for their old jobs back (on a lower pay rate).<br />
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But all is not lost. Thank goodness for the anticipated largesse of old university chums. Minted as they are, they'll surely want to sub him a few grand here and there.</div>
robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04713663888880540783noreply@blogger.com6