half narcissitic therapy - brainwaves

Because I live a pure life, my system is hypersensitive to stimulants. I had 2 cups of tea before going to the pool this morning, and as a result ended up swimming a mile non-stop, while my turbocharged brain churned out flashes of inspiration and blog ideas. The swim took me about an hour and a half, and I was too revved up to even pause for a leak. Fortunately, the pool doesn't discriminate against swimmers suffering from RDD (Retention Deficit Disorder).

I've decided to advertise for an assistant, a.k.a. a hut manager. I need someone to walk up and down poolside and note down my brainwaves and revelations as they come to me. It's either that or a waterproof notepad, like the scuba divers use. If the assistant can make tea too, that would keep my creative juices flowing.

I offered the job to the delectable keda, who drinks 9 cups of tea a day. Sadly, she's already fully occupied with some guy who borrowed my name before covering her with chocolate milk. A man after my own heart, though I would have used custard.

One of today's brilliant ideas came to me when I went into the sauna. The pool management must have got a laminator for Christmas, because they have plastered every wall inside the sauna with plasticated warning signs. In the stifling heat of the sauna, the plastic laminates give off toxic fumes, so your eyes water and you cough. So I pulled the signs off the wall, took them home and found another use for them here in photoshop.

The original snorkel picture was taken last century by the former love of my life (now deceased) in Greece, and proves my exhibitionist credsentials.