Tuesday, June 29
good vibrations
In recent days I've been arthritic in every limb. Either someone spiked my drink with superglue, or it's the midwinter weather. But of course dealing with it by just resting is a slippery slope, so today I went on the home gym, and set all the weights to half the usual (already modest) weight. It feels much too easy, but you need to resist the temptation to load up.
I've also been using the laser on the shoulder joints, as well as the vibrator that the boy gave to the cellmate for Christmas one year.
In about nineteen umpty-eight, the 99p shop had a shelf full of battery vibrators. So that year I gave one to every woman I knew, including the old dear. What could they say? They were too embarrassed to complain or ask how much it cost. It's a variation on a trick I learned from Hotters - you can take as many sickies as you like from work, as long as you always tell the boss the next day you had terrible diarrhoea.
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I say!
ReplyDeleteNever suffered diarrhoea myself. Regular as the sunrise, so I am. Must be the tonic water.
MM III
Albert? I don't see how sticking a vibrator up your bum is going to help your arthritis, but what do I know? Fasting should be good for arthritis, but you look as if you've been trying that for years, so maybe that's not a good idea. God, what a horrible old age all you flatheids are going to have! Dearie, dearie me!! Hotboy
ReplyDeleteI say!
ReplyDeleteIt's best not to let the staff read such posts. Wilson reported that he didn't pitch up for work yesterday because he had terrible diarrhoea, but he pointed to his head as being the part of him that hurt.
MM III
Mingers. Maybe he put it on his head as warpaint, that would keep anyone off work.
ReplyDeleteHotters. I certainly deserve a horrible old age, to balance the blissful life I've had so far. Not everything has to balnce up though. To him that hath shall be given.