Thursday, March 27

3D horny HNT

This picture of how I'm feeling may be the first-ever 3D HNT. Put on your red and blue glasses to get the 3D effect. If you don't have the glasses, you can click the pic to make it go back to 2D.





Back story:

A crowd of possums have taken up residence in the roof space. I could put out rat poison but they're cute animals. The trouble is, they're nocturnal, so they spend the night pissing and shitting all over the place, and mating, fighting and screaming in the ceiling above your bed.

Anyway, I used my background in systems analysis to draw up a humane plan, using mothballs (which they apparently hate), and a 400-watt ultra-sonic screamer which I'm building.

Ingredients for the screamer project:

  • one PC running Audacity (to generate high-pitched waveforms then mix them with processed random animal sounds, punk bands and bagpipe music)

  • one old hi-fi amp, connected to the PC

  • 15 metres of cable

  • two 400-watt horn tweeters, placed at the holes in the roof where the animals go in and out.




It can't fail. I just have to carefully time the activation for when the possums are out feeding. Otherwise, switching it on when they're already in the attic would trap them in there and torture them with noise, like in Iraq.

But as any general will tell you, you need a multi-pronged attack. So first of all I'm building some nesting boxes to hang in the trees, so the animals will have somewhere new to live after eviction. You see? Carrot and stick. What the world needs now.

So one night next week I'll set the alarm for about 3am, before they come home from chewing gum trees. I just have to get up the ladder into the attic, scatter some mothballs, and switch on the screamers and the strobe lamp. When the possums return, hopefully they'll be so confused, they won't even dare come into the roof.

If there's no more posts here, assume I've fallen through the ceiling half-asleep in my pyjamas. Oh I love the night life!


HNT_1

19 comments:

  1. I hope you can remove them and still keep them alive.

    HHNT! For some reason I lost it when you wrote punk music and bag pipes - LMFAO!

    Great Pic 3D and all!

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  2. VERY cool. But now I want a pair of my own 3d glasses. : )

    Hmmmm.....

    Happy HNT!! ; )

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  3. How terribly kind to work so hard to get them out safely. :)

    Happy HNT too!

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  4. I think you should put out that recording as a cd. As always another very entertaining post. Cheers & Happy HNT!

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  5. Me has no 3D glasses, but it's still a very cool picture!

    Hope all goes well and you get it done without falling through the ceiling!! Good luck!!

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  6. Albert? Is that you? No wonder dentists in New Caledonia make so much money! So does the food just go right down? Why don't you just smear some dead animal fat on the roof and sit there one night playing with your ukelele. Possums can't stand that! Hope this helps. Hotboy

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  7. I think I understand how you feel. I was in a hotel with very thin walls once, and the people one flight up and one room over sounded like that.

    Maybe it was possums...

    Very cool pic,

    HHNT!

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  8. Very clever!

    Cute pic - love the 3-D effect!

    HHNT

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  9. I feel your pain. We have mice all winter. Their little scratchy scratchy noises make me nuts in the middle of the night.

    Good luck. The paramedics will have a grand time with you if you do fall through the ceiling ;)

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  10. Good luck with that. My father had them but didn't know until they fell through the ceiling in his bedroom.

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  11. Hmm, that sounds like some neighbors I had living above me once.

    Not sure I'd like possum piss puddling above the place where I sleep. On my back. With my mouth open. ICKy.

    HAPPY HNT!

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  12. I say!

    A unique tongue! I congratulate you.

    MM III

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  13. I say!

    Is this one of your possums? Someone's trying to pretend it's a cat.

    MM III

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  14. MM - I actually saw an Australian version of this poster. What's the pictorial equialent of an urban myth?

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  15. Is a possum the same as an opossum, and how are these related to sloths? Some of us need to know.

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  16. ion - none of the above. I believe the possum is related only to Dame Edna.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Possum

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  17. LOL, brilliant plan. how'd you do that 3D bit??

    i wish youluck as i did the mothball bit once and found the bastards seemed to like them, or laugh at them at the very least.

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  18. Lime - I used a free program that came with a PC mag. Zoner 3D Photo Maker.

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