The next day, I was booked in for an exercise stress test of my heart at the hospital. At first they said they couldn't go ahead with the test because my blood pressure is too low (80/45) and I might fall over. I reassured them that I had never fallen over before. So the test went ahead. They wire you up, then put you on a treadmill and ramp up the speed and increase the slope, until you can't take any more. At stage 4, even though my blood pressure had only risen as far as 130/60, I begged for mercy. They said that for my age I was officially in excellent cardiac shape, and that after I came off the treadmill my heart rate recovered to normal unusually fast.
Unfortunately the rest of me has yet to recover. I've been too knackered even to blog. I've been so knackered that I had to cancel a visit to my therapist, which is a pity as I had planned to ask him about my friend. The friend lives in Edinburgh and is suffering from a suspected case of bipolar disorder.
Because everything balances up, down here in the South Pacific I've been suffering from unipolar disorder. My mental state has been too unrelentingly smooth. Back in the days when I was in the habit of taking half a bliss pill every 2 days, I was happy. Then I read somewhere that the drug disappears from the blood after 24 hours, so that meant the bliss levels must have been fluctuating wildly. So these days I take a quarter of a pill every day, and though it's true I'm more stable as a result, I am continually snarly.
I can't decide which is better - to dip in and out of ecstasy and dismay, or drift smoothly along in continuous resentment. What do you think?
Meanwhile, here's the japonica thing again, transforming from bud to flower:
I could only wish for blood pressure like that. During my stress test I made it to something like 200/150. Shouldn't my heart have just exploded at that point?
ReplyDeleteSometimes I like the ups and downs - they make life an adventure, particular for those around one! But a constant state of resentment or annoyance or just ennui isn't good either. Perhaps just a little move up the scale to pleasant indifference would be good. (I take 50mg/day of Paxil just to stay at moderately homicidal/suicidal. I'd say you're doing ok.)
Albert? My recommendation is that you save your pills and take them all on Friday night with a half pint of wine. This would enable you to watch the teevee on Friday nights and find it enjoyable. This would help. Hotboy p.s. Alternatively just treble your normal dose. Why be scared of feeling good? Also, send a 100 to me so I can properly road test them!
ReplyDeletebunny - I'm on similar regimen, but have reduced the doses to microscopic, I'm just realising the homeopathic effects would be in the other direction.
ReplyDeletehotters - I'll bring a bagful to the E'burgh bloggers' reunion next year.
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