Wednesday, July 30


Hotheid was talking about a heavy fog in Edinburgh, but I thought surely that can't be - it's the middle of summer there. But then Albert sent this snap of himself taken Sunday before he left for the west.

Monday, July 28

a life in the trouser department

Today was the day I had planned to visit the ex's grave in the Borders, to pay tribute and prove she can still make the earth move for me. But lo and behold, the other ex, last seen in 85, has surfaced in Glasgow for one day only and wants to meet up in the Alasdair Gray-muralled cafe.

So I can only see one of them - a dead person, of whom one should not speak ill nor well if the glowing tributes would need to be pornographic? Or a live one plus her hubby and some of her five children? What if one of them looks like me?

Glasgow here we go! Or Borders here we come!

No contest really, especially since I got hold of 1982 Janine, as recommended by several commenters at ionetics.

done in after duneditin

Thanks to the efforts of local organising officials, this year's conference surpassed all expectations, and there were suggestions that the northern hemisphere should be the default venue in future years.

Indeed there was an even higher level of discussion and intellectual exchange than in previous years. Attendance too was up this year, with a strong presence of blissheids, pissheids, flatheids, and deifheids, and even some normal people like myself.

And I understand the official conference photos will be available just as soon as they can be edited to conform with privacy requirements.

Thanks to a reckless spontaneous decision, to consume a whole bottle of black white beer in pursuit of balance, at one stage I was on the verge of a recurrence of Type IV RDD, but it wore off just in time and common sense prevailed. Overall I was just sober enough to balance up everyone else.

My colleagues were of course disappointed to learn that the text of my prize-winning paper on Ralwin's Postulate had been confiscated at the border, but I have promised to republish it in full form soon. Sadly, my other paper, on cross-cultural toilet-training, was quite savagely vetoed by a zealous or perhaps jealous delegate from the opposing school of thought. That was a particular shame, since it would have been illustrated by topical local references based on an experience earlier that very day! I am already working on next year's submission on the recent paradigm shift in symptomatology of RDD types.

It was generally agreed that the celebrity of the evening was a young lady named, I believe Heather but it's always hard to be certain about these things. Even she found the heady intellectual atmosphere a little stifling until the management were persuaded to open the doors and windows. In the social hubbub I think I even met Doviko at one point.

For myself, one of the strangest experiences was to have one's oevre quoted back at one, so that one wondered: did I really write that, and was it fact or fiction? Being suddenly forced to reprise or defend one's early output is probably quite good for the brain and must surely postpone Alzheimers, but it is hard work. Medically, I got off lightly with only partial hearing loss; grazed shins from an excess of champagne at the reception; and of course a hangover this morning.

I'm sure I speak for everyone in extending my congratulations and thanks to the organisers and caterers. Duneditin 2009, wherever it is hosted, has a lot to live up to.

Thursday, July 24


On Wednesday we met up with the (unconsommated) love of the old man's life. Went first to her house (where the old man died in fact), then across the road to her golf club. Most people growing up there would spend their entire lives between the golf club, the old school rugby club, and an office in the city, with timeshares in Tighnabruaich or Spain. I turned my back on all that when I went off the rails and down under.

This is actually the club where I played, reluctantly, as a kid. On a Sunday if the parents were fed up with us, they'd chuck us out of the house - "don't come back till you've played a round!"

Not sure which Duneditin session I should put my name down for. They're offering Cross Cultural Toilet Training, or Triumphs Of Socialism. Whichever's shorter so I can get to bed early.

Tuesday, July 15


Beginning to look pregnant after cream cakes, fat pates and cheese, greasy salami washed down with Erdinger. This must be how fat bastards get started. How fortunate that the duneditin diet will just be bread soup and garlic dip.

Spent most of an hour on web trying to circumvent this country's block on all gmail and blogger pages (you can guess which country).

Quadrupled bliss pillage for affable robot effect.

Now my hour's up. Sorry cannot email read anyone's posts for now. Regards to all.

Thursday, July 3


I must remember to postpone posting my most brilliant material for a week or two, till the Edinburgh reader demographic gets back from vacation.

Now if only Piddledorf would take a long holiday too.

Wednesday, July 2

name that country

I stopped over in a place that's a paradise for technophile anal retentives, as you can see from this preview of a future HNT.

Q1 - What is it a picture of?

Q2 - What country is it?