Tuesday, December 11

tradesman tourette's

The kitchen project continues - 40,000 dollars down and two months out of my life so far. The last tradesman finished today, and the remaining work is down to me now, so I'll have no-one to blame but myself. But still, in idle moments I still find myself thinking about that plasterer and swearing out loud. I think I'm suffering from that new syndrome, Tradesman-related Tourette's Syndrome (TTS).

The plumber today was from Larkhall. He's been here in New South Caledonia for three years, and has had enough, heading home for New Year. I can't see that Scottish New Year drunks are any better than the ones we have here. When I asked why he can't stand it here, he said he misses his family. Aha! Everything balances up - I'm a Scot who came to this godforsaken country precisely because it's as far away as possible from my family. I never have to worry about homesickness and missing people. What a fortunate creature I am!

When I assumed the plumber supported Motherwell, he explained that there's only one football team for someone from Larkhall - "the boys in blue", i.e. Glasgow Rangers.

That was my lame attempt to appear to know something about football. At the moment I seem to be waking at 4 a.m. every night. Instead of just lying there for a couple of hours, I get up and do 10 minutes' yoga, then I get straight back to sleep. What a fortunate creature I am!

For no reason at all, here's a photo I found while browsing (browsing for what, I forget). The place where I found it was mocking this person, but I think they're quite brave.

after 30

4 comments:

  1. Albert? We know the person they were mocking was you, but you are so so brave!! They throw stones at the green traffic lights in Larkhall. The town is famous for this. Did you notice if the boy from Larkhall had his knuckles trailing on the ground? Did he have hair sprouting out of his forehead, and was he an Elvis impersonator? We should be told. HOtboy

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  3. Albert? Is that you? You are bearing up remarkably well considering you're nearly dead. Hope this helps. Hotboy

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  4. Did the plumber sing you 'The Sash' in nostalgia for Larkhall? If so, he was cheap at whatever price.

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