good sports

by Albert McClochendichter
reporting from Nouvelle-Calédonie du Sud


Unfortunately, the only English-language media we get here are Australian, so the only results we got to hear about were Australian medals. The TV commentary ignored any competitors not wearing a yellow jersey trimmed with green. "And our Susie claims a silver." We rarely hear who won the gold if it wasn't an Aussie, but occasionally we can infer the nationality: "Little Susie didn't beat the Russian but we love her all the same."

In the newspapers, it was yellow jerseys in every picture.





In the basketball match between Australia and Lithuania, the only reason the Lithuanian player (on the right) was allowed in the frame was because (a) his side got beat and (b) his jersey is green and yellow too.




The only time you get to see another nationality is when they're losing





And there was indignation when Britain's medal score overtook the Aussie tally:




Don't get me wrong, I love watching the Australia TV coverage, but as comedy. I don't know how Albert can live there.

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