Recently I experienced the best day this year. On the morning dog walk, I found an unopened bottle of beer lying on the grass. Then the outlaw took us out for what Billy Bunter would call a slap-up feed.
In the afternoon, I saw some good shoes in a shop, at 75% off! Unfortunately these days I have slightly different sized feet - one is an 8 and the other's a 9. The last two pairs in the shop were sizes 8 and 9. So I bought them both, and told the sales guy I was planning to wear the right 9 and the left 8. He gave me a strange look. "People always get angry at anyone who chooses individual standards for his life" - Nietsche writing about der heisse Junge.
Later, in a bookshop, I saw a half-price book called something like "Forgive and Live," about the health-giving effects of forgiveness. I read a few pages. It made a lot of sense, but it made no mention of forgiving oneself, what's the point of that? So I didn't buy it. Besides, I'm forever buying worthy self-improvement books and then not reading them. Just out of interest I scouted around the shop, and found a general book on health. Wondering if it might have a section on forgiveness, I opened it at a random page - and it was the only page about forgiveness! But I didn't buy that either, since I've got similar books unread at home. And when I got home, I pulled one of my books off the bookshelf, and opened it at random - at a page on forgiveness!
As the god-bothering outlaw was leaving at last for the airport, just to wind her up I said "I forgive you for everything." Her face contorted as she prodded me in the chest and said "no, I forgive you!"
That night, I was about to chuck out the unsuitable shoe from each of the pairs I bought. One was too big, and the other too small, but I found that if I removed the insole from the too-small shoe, and added it to the insole already in the too-big shoe, it balanced up so that they were a good fit too. Two pairs of shoes for the price of half a pair! Okay, so they look a bit like the sort of surgical boot that lame guys in Glasgow used to wear, but they're very comfortable.
That night the free bottle of beer tasted fantastic, perhaps because of the alcohol. What a great day!
Albert? Is that you really? Sounds like a good day! Forgive them all you like! Hell! Hell, I tell you! They're all going to hell. But if you forgive everybody, that's not supposed to happen. You could have used the spare shoes for throwing at the American embassy. Shout 'I forgive yous!' first of all. That would help. Hotboy
ReplyDeleteI say!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds as if the lack of alcohol is getting to Hotters.
But anyway - what a strange day you had, with so many coincidences. You should have tried the Lotto, and selected numbers at random. That might have helped.
MM III
HB - I hope you've forgiven your taxi driver.
ReplyDeleteMM - why didn't I think of the lotto? I could have donated the winnings to the charity shop to make up for the shoes I never gave them.
Albert? I have not forgiven my taxi driver. I'm sorry if his ears are still ringing, but it's not my fault. It's these bloody mobile phones. Also, you have to forgive yourself first and I have a lot of time to spend on that because of being bad and reveling in it. Reveling? Why can't I spell anymore. Hotboy
ReplyDeleteThe ears were from the bomb at the venue. Maybe you missed it.
ReplyDeleteI say!
ReplyDeleteI could have sworn I read this post last week. Must be deja vu.
MM III
I say!
ReplyDeleteMore deja vu. How many times have I been here? Am I going in virtual circles?
MM III