I was once accosted and berated in German by a drunken Bavarian skinhead in the former communist zone. It was in a gents bog, and he took exception to my spitting in a wash hand basin. Perhaps he was saying I should gob on the floor, like in Jockoland. Later I realised I should have scared him off with a mouthful of Glaswegian.
The Australian natives may once have been quite savage, but not now. When I lived in Australia, it was almost shocking to realise that you could walk around the city centre late on a Saturday night without being knifed, without even being threatened. Pathetic! But that was a while ago. Albert tells me Australia is catching up with the more advanced lawless places.
Where I live now in New South Caledonia, I was once chased by a headhunter who wanted to offer me a job, but so far I've not seen any cannibals.
The situation in New Zealand, where I was researching recently, is best presented in the form of a multiple choice quiz:
The original inhabitants of New Zealand were (choose one):
- convicts sent out by the English
- invaded by the English
- an ancient celtic tribe