more from our Scottish political correspondent

You won't have seen the Scottish newspapers yesterday. The Sun,

which is owned by thon Ozzie fascist chap who gets his income from

those proletarians of low intelligence, had a full front page photo of

Ed Milliband eating his bacon sarnie from months ago, and looking

decidedly weird.

And I thought - how low can you get?

Then I looked over to the SNP newspaper, The National, and it had a

smaller copy of that same photo, along with photos of all the other

non-Nat Nutter leaders taken during episodes of severe flatulence and

all looking very weird. Yes, even Broonie suffers from flatulence

from time to time, which added to his glass een, can make him look

extremely weird. And I thought - so that's what it comes down to for

the too-dumb-to-be-able-to-count - i.e. don't vote for someone who six

months ago had a photo of themselves looking weird two hours after

eating a veggie burger.

But don't worry. 66.1% was the turnout in this general election.

84.5% was the turnout in the last Referendum. There are therefore

still hundreds of thousands of folk who, like me, didnae pitch up to

vote yesterday, but who will always, always, always pitch up to vote

No in any Scottish Referendum to defeat the fascist Nat Nutters, the

hopelessly romantic, the bone idle, and those who think Scotland can

nationalise BP.

And we feel secure in the fact that, though the good Nippy Sweetie

may repeatedly threaten to skelp Fat Eck's backside, the man with

verbal diarrhea himself has not only now been let loose on Westminster

and the press in that part of the country, but has also never been

properly potty trained and therefore will always completely and

utterly over-anticipate the ultimate outcome of a Highland Charge. I

would definitely have voted for him if I'd lived in the constituency

of Gordon, simply in order to get him to Westminster.