Wednesday, March 3

carbon fibre pants researched

A colleague in the gas physics department referred me to yet another interesting abstract from a professional journal.

"OBJECTIVE: A variety of charcoal-containing devices are purported to minimize problems with odoriferous rectal gas. We objectively evaluated the ability of these devices to adsorb two malodorous, sulfide gases (hydrogen sulfide and methylmercaptan) instilled at the anus.

METHODS: Via a tube, 100 ml of nitrogen containing 40 ppm of sulfide gases and 0.5% H(2) was instilled at the anus of six healthy volunteers who wore gas impermeable Mylar pantaloons over their garments. The fraction of the sulfide gases removed could be determined from the concentration ratio of sulfide gas: H(2) in the pantaloon space.

RESULTS: Measurements with no device in place showed that subjects' garments removed 22.0 +/- 5.3% of the sulfide gases. Pads worn inside the underwear removed 55-77% of the sulfide gases. The only product that adsorbed virtually all of the sulfide gases was briefs constructed from an activated carbon fiber fabric.

For comparison, most cushions are relatively ineffective, adsorbing about 20% of the gases."
Even without a medical research degree, I feel well qualified for a career in this kind of work, if some research employer would just give me a (wind) break.


  1. Albert? I'm sure this research is very important. I know someone who should be wrapped in that stuff from head to foot so malodourous are his outgoings. I'll put his name forward as a volunteer when you get the grant to go ahead with your own investigations. Hotboy

  2. I say!

    This is vital research. Thank goodness someone is doing something about this important issue. I was keeping wicket behind Wilson the other day, and it was very distracting. I think he's been taking tips from the Aussies, who are renowned for this kind of thing.

    MM III

  3. Albert? No one has mentioned toilet training or being anal retentive, have they? Hotboy

  4. Mingers. I believe Albert is so gifted in this department, he once received an invitation to open for Australia even though he has no ball skills at all.

    Quite right Hotters, the problem is people who let it all out, the opposite of anal retention. It all balances out.