Thursday, May 6

pension fund party

The PPP birthday "celebrations" went on all day. Imagine a room with a hundred blockheids, some of them also deifheids and probably all flatheids. Including speeches and toasts, the sit-down meal lasted nearly 5 hours.

My own short speech was the best of the lot, which isn't saying much. It was the same speech I gave 10 years ago but nobody seemed to recognise it.

For weeks the pension fund had tried everything to force me to agree to speak. Emotional blackmail, whining, guilt tripping, flattery, and simple Bavarian rank-pulling. But there's no appeasing dictators, and I was steadfast in my refusal. I said it was time for me to hand over to a younger generation.

Then when I surprised her and stepped up to the microphone she tried to stop me. "Wait till after the soup, then you can do it". Some people are just born bullying bastards. I ignored her and went ahead.

Here's what I said. See if you can spot the sarcasm that went over her head.

Liebe PPP.

Wir sind sehr stolz, hier mitzumachen beim geburtstag von unsere PPP. Auch die Familienmitglieder die heute nicht hier sein konnten, schicken ihre Liebe.

Du warst, und bleibst, ein sehr bedeutenswerter Einfluss fur mich, sowie fur viele Anderen.

Vielen dank fur deine Liebe und Groszugigkeit, und dafur dass du immer versuchst, uns zu akzeptieren, so wie wir sind.

Happy Birthday PPP.

Did you spot it? The heartfelt last line says "we all thank you so much for always trying to accept us just as we are".


  1. I say!

    Google translate appears to have ignored Bavarian, but I take it that it was something about only a few more for the century.

    MM III

  2. Albert? Why didn't we force them to speak English after the war? I cannot understand that achtung talk. Please translate. Hotboy

  3. Hotters. I'm with you on this one. If only we had forced them to give up their stupid medieval brewing laws, they could have been making Watneys now.

    Mingers. I'll email Cabbage the Malawian version.