I was sent an email containing some important Zen teachings:
1. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
2. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.
3. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
4. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
5. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
6. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
7. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
8. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.
9. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
10. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.
I wish to apologise for any comments I may have made in the heat of the moment. Under the influence of a bottle and a half of Alcofreedom Ale, my subconscious was making a bid for membership of the badboy church. If you don't know what I'm talking about, that's fine and I withdraw the apology.
Albert? Is that you? What a waste! Losing your short term memory due to drinking beer that doesn't even get you drunk. Dearie me. It's all about walking over the path and under the path without actually walking on the path that does it. Does what? You might well ask, but you've probably forgotten what it was by this time. Hope this helps. Hotboy
ReplyDeleteIt all helps, if it doesn't kill you.
ReplyDeleteI say!
ReplyDeleteWonderful advice! I have printed it out and have given Cabbage (erm, sorry, Kha'bahje) a copy. He needs it!
He pitched up for work on Thursday 15 minutes late, and obviously the worse for wear from the night before. He told me he'd walked from the Domasi turnoff (I forget the long convoluted reason he'd found himself in Domasi - I'm sure that the relative in question passed away some years back) but I didn't believe a word of it.
I've docked his pay, naturally.
MM III