Sunday, May 15

deifheidism - not again!

After avoiding them for about a year, I had to attend a gathering of deifheids today. I would consider learning meditation if I thought it would enable me to switch my brain off at these things. Today I decided to take on the challenge of faking bonhomie. To some extent I did manage to switch off my faculties, munch on a vol au vent and go "mmm yummy" with the best of them, before pocketing my pastry as a takeaway for the dog.

When the champers came out, I took Hotters' advice and gulped a couple. Lo and behold, things became almost bearable. Maybe it's not just me, maybe everyone drinks just to make things bearable. But at my age I need to be doing stuff I can enjoy sober.


  1. I say!

    Never tried staying sober myself. Let me know what it's like.

    MM III

  2. Albert? You've got two choices. Get plastered and enjoy it for ten minutes and then suffer the horrors of the next day and tell yourself that's part of the hit. Or be sober and hate every minute of the nicety nice. But you have a middle way, which is to use your malicious sense of humour. Just pick a target and worry them about something. Leering at old ladies shouldn't be a problem for you after your career on the dockfront. Proposition the oldest and ugliest. That means you stay sober and don't hate it. I'd hate it. I refuse to go anywhere unless someone will give me drugs to calm the pain of being (there). Hope this helps. Hotboy

  3. Mingers. No wonder the Malawi pitches are in a state.

    Hotters, that's not a bad idea. Often the victim will suggest their own worry, all you have to do is encourage them. You must've had about 45 years of practice, I'm just a beginner