Friday, December 17

typical working day this week

730. Get to work. Make tea. Switch computer on - it takes an hour or two to crank itself up and run virus checks, so forget about work for now.

8. Get changed and do yoga.

830. Lie down and read a book.

9. More tea, read the Independent or Glasgow Herald online.

930. Go out for a walk.

1030. Get back to work for a meeting. Always take along a wad of important-looking papers, and remember to rifle through them during meeting. When diary dates are discussed, switch on iPod and start a game. People think you're making diary notes.

1130. Early lunch.

1230. Bosses take a late lunch, so your time's your own till at least 2.

230. Second meeting of the day is a rerun of the first one, for the benefit of everyone who had the foresight to stay away all morning. Earlier decisions are reversed, or else painstakingly re-decided. Use papers and iPod as before.

For future entertainment, diarise what everyone has decided to do next month, so that when the time comes and people actually do the opposite, you know it's not you that's insane.

330. Back in your office, tidy your bookshelves. Then go home, happy in the knowledge that you've done your bit to make New South Caledonia what it is.

5. Take a nap, to be properly refreshed before opening a beer. Decide not to bother going in tomorrow. You can get just as much done by working from home.

- Posted from iPod


  1. Albert? I hate meetings and talking to people, so well done for getting through a day like that. If I don't have at least three hours of bliss by five o clock at night, I'm only half the man I need to be to climb onto the bed for a nap then. You should punctuate all activities by sinking into the bliss. I do it on the bus!! Anyway, I notice you never mentioned taking any drugs. Well done. Keep mum. You don't know who's watching. Hope this helps. Hotboy

  2. I say!

    That's a very busy schedule. You should cut out some meetings, or at the very least only attend pre-meeting meetings.

    MM III

  3. Hotters. He he! I always thought I would use retirement to catch up with you on that score, so to speak. But really I'm too blisspilled to be bothered with drugs. Thank goodness for tea.

    Mingers. You're fortunate there's no need for meetings in your country. Anything goes wrong, they just eat someone.