Monday, October 17

a deifheid taxonomy

The specialist literature describes three kinds of deifheid.

CLASS C - a Class C Deifheid is somebody who's physically deaf. The modern term is hearing-disabled. Some of them are clients of mine, and I think I usually get on well with them, perhaps helped by the fact that, with my speech disability and accent, I already rely on body language and hand signals all the time. Class C deifheids are the only deifheids deserving of compassion.

CLASS B - Class B Deifheids are musically disabled. Through no fault of their own, they have no taste at all. Fans of Black Sabbath, or Barry Manilow, or Pachelbel's Canon - they're all Class B. The jury's still out on Brian Wilson. Surprisingly, Class B's can still live full and useful lives.

CLASS A - this is the gold standard. A Class A Deifheid is somebody who's empathically disabled. Sufferers lack the ability to listen to anybody except themselves. Put several of them together in a room, and there's turmoil. Each one wants to self-publicise, none of them can bear to listen.

A Class A deifheid is a hopeless case, a waste of space, someone trapped in infantile narcissism. It is generally accepted that the worst thing you can do with a Class A is to listen to them. You'll only feed their affliction. You can't advise them either, since they can't take in anything you say. There's nothing you can do for them, and the prognosis is poor.

Class A Deifheidism is often diagnosed with other behavioral disorders ("dual diagnosis"). For instance, many Class A deifheids suffer from NPD too. Indeed, the jury is still out over whether they are two discrete maladies or one.


  1. Interesting way to propagate the idea of 'other'.

    Different isn't wrong, it is only different.

  2. I say!

    Which class of Deifheid should open the batting/bowling, etc?

    MM III

  3. Nanners. Quite correct, but different can sometimes mean intensely annoying.

    Mingers. Good point, but a pointless question in Australia, where everybody's Class A.

  4. Aye that is true. But it is our choice to be annoyed. We pick our feelings.

  5. Albert? You should stay in more. You must be seeing too many people. Try going about with a toilet seat over your head. That works for someone I know. Hope this helps. Hotboy

  6. Hotters. Reading between the lines, you've been doing your headstands on the toilet seat, haven't you?