international pension fund takes a dive

As if the global disaster wasn't enough, the Piddledorf Pension Plan has now had an accident, falling down and breaking several major bones. I'm not sure if it really fell, or was it pushed by a passing blissheid on a contract? I'd rather not know. 10% off the top of nothing isn't worth arguing about.

It's in hospital now on morphine, and very sorry for itself, contemplating the long road to recovery at that age. I used to be cursed with feelings of empathy for fellow humans, but the bliss pills fixed that. Of course everything balances up, and the pills seem to have caused an increased sensitivity to animal suffering. On Australian satellite TV last night, there was extended footage of two guys in a Jordanian abbatoir mistreating a cow. I looked away, but then every time I looked back the b*st*rds were still at it. It was pitiful - the poor cow kept trying to run away, but it was in a small pen, and there was nowhere to run to.

To the credit of the TV company, they were trying to shock viewers into supporting the campaign against shipping live animals from Australia to the Middle East. Even if they survive the crossing, they have a halal slaughterhouse to look forward to. Fortunately, the only Australian meat in my diet is shipped here after being humanely shot in the outback.

But back to the pension fund. The depressing thing is, the PPP will never get the bliss pills. It once tried them, but gave up on the second day: "It was horrible, I couldn't get anything done." The whole point! Some people are just too dumb to medicate.