Tuesday, April 21

st. onan's day

Yesterday was onan's birthday, so we broke out a double ration of bliss pills. He got a couple of books from his partner and then she took him out for lunch.

The mother outlaw sent him a CD called The Sounds Of Scotland. Artists include Jimmy Shand, Moira Anderson, and the pipes and drums of the 1st battalion black watch. Onan says it's no worse than the current Australian radio, TV, and newspaper assault on his musical sensibilities. I think he's referring to the Susan Boyle phenomenon. For a generation brought up to believe that musicianship is about having a fit body and a video where your bits hang out, who would have thought that a middle-aged frump with a moustache would be able to hold a tune! What next?

Next thing they'll be trying to tell us that young people can cope with disappointment, without the services of a trauma counsellor! That wouldn't help Doctor Trish (she who got me to write for 20 minutes at a time without censoring). She works nights as the studio shrink on the set of Grand Frère (the New South Cal version of Big Brother). It's her job to counsel people when they get expelled from the house. I wonder if they get to wear the electrodes on their heads, just like me.

I gave Onan a bottle of Weihenstephaner, which neither of us have ever tried before. I hope it turns out less disappointing than the last weissbier I bought him (I've forgotten the name of it but you can be sure it wasn't Erdinger or Lidl's own brand).

His mother marked the day in time-honoured fashion, by opening an old greeting-card on the phone, and letting the tinny synthesiser play several verses of Happy Birthday down the line. It was mildly amusing on the first occasion some decades ago.

The PPP marked the occasion by getting him to phone the hospital room on the day, so she could provide a live update on the fund's losses.

It's a consolation to everyone that Onan has a wonderful bliss partner to make a fuss of him once a year, otherwise what would he have to live for?

The partner's lunch.

PS - the trousers are open again.


  1. I say!

    Very happy returns to Onan. And what a lovely looking meal - Japanese?

    MM III

  2. Thank you on Onan's behalf, and I believe it was indeed Japanese.