Saturday, September 11

books and ebooks

I now have two extra ebooks which I'll enjoy reading on the pod in the bus. The deal is that the author doesn't want to know what I think of them. I'll need to make an effort to remember that, and curb my natural tendency to be helpful.

Meantime, on paper I'm really enjoying the A.L. Kennedy book. Here's a section called

THE SCOTTISH METHOD
(FOR THE PERFECTION OF CHILDREN)


1. Guilt is good.

2. The history, language and culture of Scotland do not
exist. If they did, they would be of no importance and
might as well not.

3. Masturbation is an abuse of one's self: sexual intercourse,
the abuse of one's self by others.

4. The chosen and male shall go forth unto professions while
the chosen and femaJe shall be homely, fecund, docile and
slightly artistic.

5. Those not chosen shall be cast out into utter darkness,
even unto the ranks of Her Majesty's Armed Forces and
Industry.

6. Pain and fear will teach us to hurt and petrify ourselves,
thus circumventing further public expense.

7. Joy is fleeting, sinful and the forerunner of despair.

8. Life is a series of interwoven ceremonies, etiquettes and
forms which we will never understand. We may never
trust ourselves to others.

9. God hates us. In word, in thought, in deed we are hateful
before God and we may do no greater good than to hate
ourselves.

10. Nothing in a country which is nothing, we are only
defined by what we are not. Our elders and betters are
also nothing: we must remember this makes them bitter
and dangerous.
I'm not sure how much of that is still true nowadays, but people who were kids back then may recognise much of it. My favourites, if that's the word, are 6 and 8.

6 comments:

  1. I say!

    Does the A.L. Kennedy book mention playing with a straight bat? From your extracts, it was getting close, especially #8.

    MM III

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mingers, the straight bat is one of the more comprehenisble etiquettes. It's the silly mid off and on square legged stuff that's the problem.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Albert? I don't understand how you got RaBlissBook into your Ipod. I thought you'd have to read it on your computery thing. Have I missed a marketing opportunity here? Hotboy p.s. I still don't know what an Ipod is, but it must be good if it can do a trick like yon.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hotters. You could have your hut manager check what sort of ebooks are being sold via iTunes, and what prices. They might even list their sales figures.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Albert? That's far too much like work! Hotboy

    ReplyDelete
  6. Albert? It's only Scottish to the protestants. Hotboy

    ReplyDelete