Sunday, December 20

gardening as screening

The racketeers (the neighbours next door, where the whole family makes a racket in the garden) have cut down a lot of trees, so now I can see them as well as hear them. And I have to wear clothes in the garden.

So I'm working on an emergency screening strategy. I planted a whole lot of star jasmines, climbers that I can train up the wire fence, but that'll take years to mature.

Since then I've had a brainwave. I've got two old ornamental bamboos in big pots. They were pretty scraggy, but since I've begun looking after them they're exploding with life. Bright yellow and green, and about 6 foot high. So I'm going to stick them in the ground in front of the jasmines. They're an immediate semi-screen, and the jasmines will eventually fill in the gaps.

Now all I need is a big glass soundproof wall for the noise.


  1. Albert? If you stuck a feather up your bottom and danced around in the nude for a while, they might put up a bamboo shield as well. Hotboy

  2. Albert? This is when prostate milking really takes off! Explain that the dance is purely for medicinal purposes! Hotboy

  3. Thanks for the tip hotters, is that what you were doing at the allotment last time you were arrested?