Tuesday, December 1

the joy of giving up giving up

I had become an addict. Tea - green, white, black, whatever. Some days I was up to 5 or 6 cups, almost as much as the Pollok Halls days, and the edginess was starting to cancel out the bliss pills. All the joy had gone out of it.

So I gave up three days ago. Cold turkey. And life settled down again, though now it was hardly worth living.

This morning I gave up giving up. After the second cup, it kicked in. Oh the joy! Oh the ablutions! I think at one point I may have abluterated as a deity.

I'm advising Albert to lay off the tea right up until the day of his upcoming big walk. Then slug down several cups at the starting line. They're bound to have toilets along the course.


  1. Albert? I must say this is a fascinating description of neurosis. How could you possible be so pure!? One day when you have gotten over this, one sniff at a tea bag and you will fall over. Please start asking your friends down at the docks where you can score some smack,and send half to me, and then have some kind of addiction that can be certified by someone as an addiction. I think this might be a sign of the bliss pills rotting your brain as they will do eventually. Then there is the drinking the beer with no beer in it. Dearie me! It's time you realised you should have been dead decades ago and start taking some decent drugs and shipping them off to the poor people who lost their parents so you could luxuriate in your inherited nazi gold. I'd like some unemployment like you have and some speed since I'm getting fat.In return I will give you absolution, and a litle bit of redemption. Just sign the bloody cheque and put it in the post! Hotboy

  2. P.s. I don't eat breakfast. I drink at least eight cups of what Ion calls builder's tea before noon. THis is to get me over stuff. Tea is not addictive. Start drinking holy water. I'll give you some for ten percent off the top! Hotboy

  3. I am forwarding your diagnosis of neurosis to the person who gave me the idea for the post, a guy who has been blogging for years about stopping and starting self-administered addictions. It could help him.

    Actually, I liked your rather 1984 idea of an addiction certification authority, maybe a whole government department. More job creation. Brilliant. Punters queueing up to sign for their weekly addiction approval. Hang on a minute. Isn't there already a government department for that?

  4. Dear Mr Hotters. Your decision to enter the holy water supply trade is commendable, and possibly at least as lucrative as the writing game. However, I am already self-sufficient in water, as I make my own. Wishing you all future success with your enterprise. Yours, etc.