Thursday, July 14

dirty protest

The PPP makes everyone wipe down the hand basin (and the shower) after every use. She inspects the bathroom after you've used it, and there's hell to pay if there's a stray drop of water. Apparently wetness damages porcelain and taps. Who knew that!

So I've gone on a shower strike, as a protest and to avoid conflict over wiping down the walls after a shower.

I won't bore you with my aunt's rules about using the toilet, but you can imagine why my uncle used to pee in the garden. And why I choose to pee in the sink.

In the kitchen, the dishwasher is such a high-ranking device that she washes each dish by hand before loading it, to avoid dirtying the washer.

I too was raised with the Bavarian over-respect for machines. When I was young, even just lowering the gramophone needle onto a record used to bring me out in a sweat. Fortunately I was cured via a combination of :

• home DIY, where you learn to whack things, and even if something breaks you can repair it

• grope therapy, where you learn how to look dispassionately at your hangups, and re-program them.


  1. Your aunt sounds like more fun than should be allowed human beings. I understand the shower strike, but hope the weather isn't too warm for your comfort.

    Machines are useful tools, but they are just tools. I have always done dishes by hand. When I had a dish washer the only thing I used it for was a drying rack for hand washed dishes.

    The idea of you peeing in the sink is bad on so many levels.

    How much longer will you be there?

  2. I say!

    Wilson reckons that the chap in this video (starts at 1 minute) is a relative.

    MM III

  3. Nanners, not long to go. Pity the poor aunt, she's stuck with herself.

    Mingers. It's not cricket is it?

  4. Albert? You can see why folk could go crazy and choppie choppie up their relatives, but these days we don't have to go that far. Just push the old bats down the stairs and get it over with. If I was in the movies, that's what I'd do. Hope this helps. Hotboy.

  5. Hotters, if you've seen those movies you know the guy never gets away with it.