Monday, June 14

burglars part 3

He/they were back in the garden at 1am on Saturday night. This is getting ridiculous. On the plus side, it gets less unnerving each time. Eventually I'll probably start putting out tea and biscuits for them, like for Santa.

My guess is this time they were just using the garden as a through route to a burglary elsewhere. They'll have realised by now that this place is impregnable without breaking glass. I was so lucky that when they did the garage the first time, they didn't realise there was a COMPLETE SPARE SET OF HOUSE KEYS in there, not even hidden.

Still, I decided it's my public duty to notify the cops, rather than sit back smug and snug while they rob somebody else. The cops who came were very friendly, maybe partly because I'm a poor old codger to them. They said - next time call the emergency number while it's happening and we'll bring a dog.

Sunday night I put on the noise cancelling headphones, and watched Bavaria against Australia. Naturally I took sides, though I tried not to cheer too loud in case the burglars were around again. They might be Aussies.

According to Albert, the Australian papers are scapegoating the Aussie coach, a Dutchman. And even he himself is saying it's all his own fault, for leaving his strikers out of the side, and bringing forward Cahill, a midfielder. Apparently the quality of the Bavarian team (many of whom have been playing together for years) had nothing to do with it.


  1. Albert? Why haven't you got your webcam pointing at the burglars? The Gerries looked like a good team! Hotboy

  2. Albert? If you shot one, you could plant him in your garden and do your prostate milking feather dance over his dead body. That would show him. Hotboy p.s. I know a racist joke.
    Bin man: Where you bin?
    Indigenous person: I bin on holiday.
    Bin man: No. Where your wheelie bin?
    Indigenous person: I wheelie bin in jail, but I always say I was on holiday.
    pps I only know two jokes.

  3. I say!

    Thank goodness there's also some excellent cricket on the TV just now.

    MM III

  4. I say!

    Have you signed up with Armed Response yet? They're rather good.

    MM III

  5. Hotters. I couldn't agree more, but I'm too busy. This is why I need to go part tome again, so I can cater for burglars.

    PS my colleagues in the linguistics faculty tell me that to qualify as racist you would have had to say where they were indigenous to. They could have been indigenes of Scotland, or Bavaria. I used to know some good jokes of the Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman variety, but those brain cells have gone.

    Mingers. What about combining cricket with armed response, like The Wolf Of Kabul. Clicky-ba crack many skulls. That's proper racism by the way.

  6. I say!

    Excellent idea.

    I always keep an old Gunn & Moore bat under my bed. You never know when it might come in handy.

    This is what I heard once in a bar in Zimbabwe: "Um nit a wriscist, but you see those Iffs..."

    I always steer clear of such people.

    MM III

  7. Mingers, I find it's easier just to steer clear of everybody.